Self Reflection
One thing I picked up as days pass is that things never go exactly how we want. It's either better or worse, but never exactly what we pictured. And that's actually kind of cool. Sometimes life surprises us in a good way, right? That's what we hope for.
It was not only about asking for feedback. I learned that asking for feedback by itself is not enough. Actually I have read (and been told) that a lot of people do not accept feedback. Someone may fear that it will hurt their ego, pride, or maybe they might be afraid of feeling wrong about what they did.
I mean, fear of criticism and acknowledging failure are also large contributers to running away from
accepting feedback. Sometimes, you would
feel defensive and say "Hey, that's just how I do things, and it's the way I've been for a while."
But, does this really get you to what you want?
Once I realized that it was just never only about receiving feedback and a lot has changed, part of it was about self-reflection and acknowledging what has gone right and what has gone wrong. This may sound obvious for a lot for you readers, but maybe this wasn't common for some too. I feel like this way I actually felt a real improvement. I mean, starting to give back a feedback to myself; acknowledging and celebrating what I have done right, and reflecting on what I could have done better and improve.
This approach also made it much easier for my senior (appreciating this a lot) to guide me toward my goals. To be honest, setting my goals clearly has been a big help in where I want to be and reflecting on myself. That, however, is a different topic for another time. What I really mean here is that being clear about my goals gave my peers a better picture of how I can improve and what I should pay attention to. It also helped uncover areas I wasn't even aware of before, which in turn gave all of us a more complete view of the situation.
I used to be scared of tough feedback, until I understood that it was really a shortcut that could take me faster to what I really wanted. Later I realized that it was not only about receiving feedback. The missing piece of the puzzle was also learning how to give feedback and building the character to do it.
I believe that bidirectional communication helps build trust between peers and allows them to grow together. What matters most is keeping this spirit and giving each person fair recognition without being harsh or placing blame. Wording matters, I am not saying that you should filter each word, but this may depend on the person you are talking to (whether giving or receiving feedback) and it's on you to control your emotions as well by the way.
Nobody is above receiving feedback and it does not matter what was done right or wrong before, because that is already in the past. What really matters is the action you take now and in the future. There is no special framework to follow, it can be as simple as setting clear steps to improve what was done before.
I believe that part of growing up is learning to acknowledge what happened before, accept it, and take action to move forward. I do not mean this in a cliché way like "follow your dreams, bla bla bla" but I feel these parts were missing from me for some time. Maybe they are missing for some readers too, and if so, I believe this can help them see things differently. Have we thought about the number of opportunities to grow we have missed because of this?
Thanks to Mohamed Hashem, Youssef Sherif, Mohammad Salah, Ali Hesham for reading drafts of this.